I can't do this

Inevitability....curious phenomenon i think.

Seems nearly every session, one thing leads to another, and i reach a point where i say 'i can't do this.'

I don't mean figuratively now....i say it out loud.
usually it's more like:

'shit, man. i can't do this.'
or, conversely,
'man, i can't do this shit.'
or even,
damnit man, i can't do this shit!'

You get the idea.

The point is that it is getting to be almost like an old friend. well maybe friend is the wrong word; maybe more like old adversary, like that fucking pain that keeps coming back no matter what exercises you do or what kind of food you eat or what beer you don't drink or which thoughts you suppress...
oops, giving a little too much of the candy store away here i think...

Reason i bring it up is it happened again yesterday. That was the day I began a new tune, my favorite so far: The More I See You.

I'll write about the session itself in the next blog but suffice it to say that it was once again, a very humbling experience.

This music thing is really something. even after all these years it just blows me the fuck away.
Take singing for instance. I've had experience on several instruments since playing in my first 'real' band back in 1972. That was also the year I quit school.
Coincidence? Maybe. Maybe not.

I mean it wasn't like the band was some sort of drug-induced group hypnotic hippie communal metal band or something. it was actually formed by a bunch of us Music majors all carrying full class loads. we had long hair though. but hell we didn't even smoke dope. not yet anyway.

So up till then, my musical training was pretty minimal actual. I don't know really how i got into music school. maybe it was the fact that i could play the trumpet pretty well. maybe it was cuz i used to travel up to the university town 50 miles away for lessons sometimes. and that this teacher also came up to the music camp i used to go to up in Bristol Hills.

All's I know is that when i showed up the august following my graduation from Mynderse Academy, i was totally unprepared for what was to come. i was so far away that i didn't know how far away i was. pure, utter, blissful stupefying ignorance.

That's what i was back then: a big bag of small town duh.
In fact, and this is hard to write down in public, I didn't even know where middle C was on the piano. truly.
And there i was: in a friggin music conservatory. jesus.

But anyway, i don't want to go into all this right now. there's time enough. in subsequent posts. lucky you.

next post: "The More I See You"
Hell yeah!!!!